a life form... but not as we know it!

Right Cliff that's Christmas over with disappear again until Jesus needs more followers...

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 01:36:49 GMT

Ah well that's another christmas down and in all honesty not a bad one (last year's was probably still the best one for ages lol)

Had to do the usual family gatherings and all that and it has actually been nice seeing my brother for once, although the insults are still flowing like water out of a fresh mountain stream... ah well

Got a great load of presents this year, more than expected as alot of Loz's family/friends all got me something which kind of put me on the spot a bit... it felt like 'yeah I only talk to you... ooh once a year if that... have a DVD' and yeah I always feel like I should hug them to death or at least offer to marry their first born daughter *shrug*. But yeah, Loz got me an iPod :D (which doesn't work on my pile of shite P.C X. so will need to borrow my mum's old one for a while unless there's any computer whizzes out there?!), The Dark Knight DVD which is surprisingly lacking in any extra's. A few 'anatomy of a scene' things and all that but I thought they'd have more to it. Also got Lee Evans Live at the 02 (funniest man alive when he's on top form). Other than that it was mostly money and all that useless shit that no one really knows that to get you, so I'll be in town tomorrow having a root around for some new clothes and stuff if anyone fancies it?

Gig planning for next year looks promising. ALready have Lamb of God ticket but now Soulfly have also been announced for Bristol. Plus thinking of doing Priest Feast in Feb although might struggle with people going to that one seeing as Loz is a hardcore UK Raver these days, I don't think even the mighty ginger curls of Mustaine will bring her round for that one... ho hum

anyways Merry Christmas and all that shcwing

:D x

We have a black Gerb down, black Gerb down...

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:57:14 GMT

Today's been quite shit... Interesting way to start an entry but it really has been! Sadly Boosh one of the Gerbs, had to be put down today :(

She fucked her leg up the other night so Loz took her to the vet today and they told her what I more or less knew they were gonna say... the only things they could've done was take her entire left leg off from the hip or put her to sleep.

Due to the fact that not many small rodents would go through the anesthetic and that such a huge op would probably have killed her anyway me and Loz decided to have her put down :(

It was horrible to say the least and because the vet couldn't hold onto Boosh whilst giving her the injection I had to... which was really nasty but the one thing that really got me was she was holding onto my thumb with one of her front paws and as the stuff she was injected with took affect her hand let go and went all limp

Been a harsh one...

RIP Boosh

Ooohh... Cake

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:33:08 GMT

Shit, fuck... bollox... big sweaty man tits in my face...

I've heard from a few reliable sources that the Cardiff date for Slipknot in December has now sold out or are going for stupid bastard prices on the net (Viagogo are selling 2 tickets for £90 each)!!!!

This is shit due to the fact that I really wanted to go *wails*... If I don't manage to go I'm seriously contacting the higher powers in work and complaining like a fucker about our pay rises and bonuses not being paid! This really has fucked me off due to the fact that I was banking on getting my bonuses paid so that the run up to Christmas and money for extra activities such as this would be covered and I wouldn't be scraping by on the bare minimum...

I'll be phoning Bristol Ticket Shop later to secure my Lamb Of God tickets... Nick, Nath and Peters all have one so I'll be getting it ASAP. I would've had it this Monday but due to feckin' illness I haven't had the chance to get down town to get one!

Corey Taylor please stand up (!)

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:43:14 GMT

Stone Sour 12 years ago!!!

Corey... looking and acting like a ginger Mike Patton... and playing to what sounds like 10 people!

Bitch slap grabbin' and your cocaine tough....

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:58:23 GMT

So the other night I told Loz this joke:

What's George Michael and Wellington Boots got in common?

Loz's answer 'Who's Wellington Boots?'...

Needless to say that was actually funnier than the actual punch line...

Oh how we laughed, specially after seeing her face look all concentrated wondering who the fuck Wellington Boots might be!

In other news: Still need to get Lamb of God and Slipknot tickets ASAP, especially LoG due to it being at the shitty Academy so it'll no doubt be sold out sometime soon

Works fast becoming an even bigger joke... Still no pay rise, still no bonus and not looking likely to materialise this side of Christmas! The only good thing on that is now we should be getting a team bonus as well (well if you and 8 other people pulled in 23 million in fraudulent tax credits you'd expect the same)! So that should be a tasty £900 extra... *ooh goes off to make shopping list*

And I'm once again phone-less for the next couple of days so if anyone needs me... well, you're gonna have to wait cos I can't check emails in work anymore either

Bastards

... :(

sigh

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 22:40:12 GMT

You know when film companies decide to make sequels to films that don't really need it? Well having just watched Lost Boys: The Tribe it just further backs up the theory that some things are best left alone!

Not that it was bad... just... not very good. I still find it hard to swallow that people feel the need to fuck with classic films just to make a quick buck... I mean, Lost Boys a classic staple in 1980's cinema, cool cast, brat pack stars like Keifer Sutherland, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim (who are in fact in the sequel, further proving that the 2 Corey's were a pair of fuckwits)

Ah I dunno, maybe Lost Boys 3: the Corey's find their Dignity will be a better idea

Fuck... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:58:08 GMT

Wow... all I can say about Death Magnetic... What a return to form! Finally a half decent Metallica album. Gone are the dustbin drums, Linkin Park-esque riffs and all that shit and hello 8 minute+ songs, solo's and an instrumental track after a 19 year absence (the last one was 'to live is to die' on '...And Justice for all')

Looks like I was wrong writing off Hetfield and co...

In other news...

Jess's 21st next weekend looks like it's going to be a very, VERY messy affair! With Mic coming back down, Pez and his liquid acid also making an appearance it should be a memorable night, well weekend really I've taken the following Monday and Tuesday off just for recovery lol

On that note though I'm skating on thin ice in regards to the Landlord, he was over yesterday to show some new people round the house and presented me with me first and formal warning, anymore shit and that's my months notice... well it's not really due to the fact that he needs me more than I need this house. If I go he'll lose one of his highest paying tenants and with the credit crunch and all that shit coming up he can't afford to have 2 houses empty (he owns about 3 in the surrounding area) and alot of people are up and leaving... so HA! But in all seriousness I'll have to keep it toned down for the next few gatherings

All hope is indeed... gone

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 18:24:39 GMT

Well gotta say I'm impressed with Slipknot and Metallica's new albums. Been listening to AHIG since I got it on Saturday... Have to say that there are a couple of tracks that wouldn't be out of place on Stone Sour's next album but yeah, has to be said it's a grower! Loved the interview Corey and Clown did before the album came out. When they asked Corey if the title was a bit.. well down lol he said 'I don't think so, I like to think that once we've let go of hope and holding on we finally free ourselves to do what we want' good point...

Gonna get Death Magnetic next month when I get paid... I never thought I'd hear myself say that, specially after the mess that was St Anger! Finally they're angry, ballsy and they've put the solos back in...

Looks like it's Nick, Peters and me (also maybe Nath) going to Cardiff for Slipknot, Machinehead and Bodom in December... After watching Disasterpieces again it's REALLY, REALLY put me in the mood for a fucking Slipknot show lol

Can't get gayer then this...

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:20:28 GMT

I am now the proud owner (!) of the GAYEST Iron Maiden shirt ever created by a money grabbing c**t corporation...

Shirt design:

Pros: -Eddie as the Trooper... Best thing about it... Trooper Lyrics on the back... another good thing about it...

Cons: - Black studs in the 'Iron Maiden' writing... Tasteful yellow stitching of 'The Trooper' on the back and front... Grey flick marks to give the shirt that 'vintage' look

How can I wear that?! It sounds like a Nack (Nick and Nath combo) shirt... Black fucking studs in the Iron Maiden writing, who the fuck thought of doing that... fucking some overpaid arse trying to make Iron Maiden appeal to Carling drinking fucking chavs! Talk about getting a fuck off rottweiler then giving it a fanny name like Fi-Fi

Fuck me, FUCK ME...

Hmmm... rant over... I dunno maybe it'll grow on me

And so the waiting begins...

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:24:07 GMT

Bumblebee's new form from Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (I don't think I like it... seems pretty typical)

And could Jazz be making a comeback? Michael Bay has said that Jazz is dead and staying that way but also that he'll leak false info right up until the next film is released!

Roll on June 2009!

...

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:40:20 GMT

...*sigh*...

Why bother?!

And she's buying... a stairway... to... heaven

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:10:45 GMT

Mike Patton - Robert Downey Jnr as Tony Stark... Am I the only one who thinks they look alike?! God Damn... Tony Stark isn't Iron Man... MIKE PATTON IS!!!

What we're dealing with here is a total lack of respect of the law....

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:02:12 GMT

Long time no entry... been having what my brother would call a 'soft' moment! With any luck that's passed me by and I can get on with looking forward to Graspop in 3 weeks, birthday in 4 weeks and God only knows what else which is gonna throw itself in front of me...

Shazz after reading your last entry I've got a little pressie for you... if you're at Nat's tomorrow I'll give it to you then :D

Anyways, as mentioned the 'Pop is only a few weeks away now so I'm going to get the shopping done next weekend. Anyone wanna tag along?!

Dear Slim...

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:35:41 GMT

Well I've got to say... Bronzing another man's bra line has really opened doors for me!

I've actually got brown fore arms as well which I didn't notice until I was in the gym... looks like a severe bout of eczema to be honest! Hopefully it'll wash off in the shower... and I wonder how Si's bronze bra is looking today? Seriously has to be the only person I know who has white everything else and bronzed nipples!

managed to get the best of RAW DVD this w.e so most of my time has been watching old skool wrestlers from years ago in their multicoloured spandex! Not a bad DVD set all discs managed to have something on there that I really wanted to watch but the only downside parts are a total lack of any extras (interviews, shoots etc) which would've been good and on the 2nd and disc HUGE parts of 2000-2001-2002 are all left out! No invasion storyline or anything which really disappointed! I mean it had the Shane buying WCW, then Milk-O-Mania then that was it, HHH returns >:(

All in all though well worth a purchase if you're a wrestling fan

Ugh in need of a shower in a big way!

Now get your fat ass over to Joe's!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:39:40 GMT

Ugh gash, tiredness does indeed kill! Loz was feeling all snotty last night so didn't get much sleep due to the fact that whenever I got comfortable she'd move and the cycle would start again... ah well on my own tonight so whole double bed to myself!

On the gym front I've upped the weights quite considerably and will be keeping to the heavier routine until the end of May/start of June (so I'm all ripped up for the 'Pop lol) then dropping the weight to tone up... been on it for 2 weeks and it's f***ing hard work eating 4 times a day and drinking whey protein on top but should be seeing some sort of results in another 2 weeks or so. I could take the easy route as the guy who's helped me sort the routine asked if I fancied going on the 'roids but... no... nasty... lol and I don't fancy a bout of roid rage with anyone

Got the EuroStar tickets sorted for Graspop in June. I'll be getting my GP ticket next month then getting spending money the month after. I'll probably be taking about 200 euros and about £50 in English money (just in case). I can't wait to get to Belgium and check out the Metal Mart and stuff...

Also got 'Best Of Raw 1993 - 2008' - 4 DVD's 9hours long... don't expect to see me for a while when it finally turns up from Play lol

Anyway, packed weekend ahead... Loz's dad's birthday tomorrow night, town with everyone the night after and hopefully sleeping on Sunday lol... Also being off the booze should mean it's a cheap night

Finally The Rock... hasn't starred in a box office hit!

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:03:47 GMT

After watching The Rock's speech at this years Hall Of Fame awards before Wrestlemania I decided to set myself a challenge... I mean we all know 'The Marine' is a pile of shite but after hearing Rocky slate it by saying that the WWE were using The Marine as torture in I-raq then saying 'Hey man, I did Doom'... I thought I'd watch both and really see who's film is worse

Doom -

this is the second time I've watched Doom and it still stands as one of those dull, brainless, somewhat stupid actioners but on the whole it's a standard Saturday night film in. Also seeing the Rock (who can act, take note Cena) use the BFG9000 and go from good guy to bad guys is pretty good and unexpected part in the film

So marks out of 10 for Doom 5/10 not great but something to put on when there's nothing else to do

The Marine -

right from the all American start of 'John Triton' saving 3 US Marines from 9 terrorists with nothing more than a big gun and even bigger forehead this film is just shit, pure shit! poor acting, shit story, not even Robert Patrick as a typical comedy villain can save this fucker from going down... and I'm only half way through it!

So marks out of 10 for the Marine *wibbly* 0/10 and for fucks sake I hope the don't try again

Ok that's enough of my being Jonathon Woss... now it's time for The Condemned!

Ceaser is a salad dressing dude...

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 21:36:42 GMT

Is it me or does Alex Winter (Bill) look a little like Layne Staley?! Only noticed it the other day while watching AIC vids and interviews on YouTube...

The 'Pop is on!!!! After convincing Jess to come with and leave behind the spirtual home of Donington (well it didn't take much considering how crap Download seems to be getting) we've now got me, Loz, Shazz (practically rock royalty in her own right) and now Jess... Only Peters, Si and Nat to get going and it's all the way to Belgium for meat, beer and BADASS BANDS!!!

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:09:09 GMT

Hmmm stuck between the option of Download or Graspop... A whole new festival, a whole other country (Belgium, nice place haven't been there for about 8yrs) and a fuckin' banging lineup!

The Pro's:

It's Download, a year without Donnington would be an odd one

I'll be with Loz, Peters, Will, Si, Nat, Shazz et all which is always guaranteed to be a good time in itself

The Con's:

The lineup wouldn't be worth the £160 for the ticket (unless BLS, Down and Slipknot get announced) and considering the only band I want to see is Priest who are headlining Graspop (with MAIDEN \m/)

It's cheaper than Download by about £70/£80

I'd be doing something a little different...

Ah I dunno, honestly I think Graspop would have the winning vote due to it being something a little different I just wish I could take everyone with us :(

This 'Babe' Ruth babe, is a dude, dude!

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:18:20 GMT

Corey Taylor with Apocalyptica... sexy ;)

Team Clean loses another member... mwahahahahahahaha

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:53:57 GMT

Tribe Of Frog last night was quite amazing lol... well it was after 4 pills, 3 bombs of MD and some Mushrooms (yep, scratch that one of the list... what's next? Acid or Heroin?)

The only reason for this post is because Jess (founding member of Team Clean) has finally lost her chemical cherry lol! After thinking about it for... ohh about 5 minutes... she dropped her first bomb of MD *bless* and in her words she found it to be 'wonderful'

Awwww.. x

Stolen from Shazz (can't do links yet though :p)

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:14:40 GMT

+ Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
+ Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
+ Post them here for everyone to guess.
+ Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
+ NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

1. 'Are you with the Police'
'No ma'am, we're musicians'

2. 'They're armed.
'What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?
'Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're
gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!'

3. 'If it bleeds, we can kill it'

4. '*spits blood* Just gimme my fuckin' phone call'

5. 'Searchin' for doughnuts, I'm searchin' for doughnuts'

6. 'Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick!
The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find
this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made
in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock,
cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
You got that?'

7. 'At the end of this day, one shall stand, one shall fall'

8. 'In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank
us'

9. 'Don't 'Fear The Reaper'
'I heard that'

10.'One minute they're havin' a Denver omelette, next minute somebody's stickin' a
gun in their face'

11. 'People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom"'

12. 'Bless me, Father, for I have just killed quite a few men'
'No Shit!'

13. 'He's a black belt in karate, you know'
'More like a pink belt in hanging about gentlemen's lavatories on Hamstead
Heath'

14. 'I always tell the truth. Even when I lie'

15. 'You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little
fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse
you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny,
funny how? How am I funny?'

oohh murder, murder, murder... change the fucking record... thank you Andy!

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:20:09 GMT

Gahhh Loz comes home tonight/tomorrow morning XD My Christ have I missed her!

She's a lucky SOB though, I've always wanted to go to New York and New Jersey (even though she said it was a run down hick town full of 'you ain't from round here' types) I mean New Jersey, the home of Kevin Smith, Zakk Wylde and of course Bon Jovi full of rundown hicks that'll shoot first ask questions later... I'm just glad she's home :)

So much for getting totally mashed this week as well :( fuckin' stoners... I bet all next week everyone will be up for doing stuff and I'll be to busy getting familiar with Loz again ;) lol

Bitter Sweet Symphonies...

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:22:26 GMT

Hmmm feeling nostalgic so started listening to The Verve and the La's and The Goo Goo Dolls...

S'pose that's what happens when you grew up with Britpop being popular

*edit* and the Lightning Seeds (and no not that fuckin' football song)

Toby Wong, Fuckin' Charlie Chan

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:28:12 GMT

Well Loz officially hates New York lol! After speaking to my homesick sweetheart she's told me that:

a) the weather is shitty and horrible

b) McDonald's taste better by comparison to the UK

c) Mountain Dew is available everywhere lol

and

d) she's going to Red Bank, New Jersey this Friday or Saturday to check out Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash... how fucking jealous am I?! Not only has she been to NY but now there's a real chance she could meet Kevin Smith (he works at his own Comic book shop on weekends)...

Ah well, it'll be nice to have her home on Monday, I just hope she tries to enjoy herself a little lol

I've also been on a Tarantino-fest lately! I watched Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs last night so might either watch Jackie Brown or Kill Bill Vols 1& 2 later on... still not sure on Deathproof, but hey might be better than people made it out to be

I'm so ronery...

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:11:44 GMT

God damn I'm already missing Loz! She should be touching down in New York within the hour... I'm just hoping she dropped some valium lol... seeing her cry when she drove off was, well pretty hard to watch actually the sill moo lol!

That aside having all this free time on my hands is harder to use up than I thought. All I know that's certain is that I'll be in the Crown this Saturday with Nick, Nath and Peters for FA Cup games and then probably back to mine after...

ARGH wanna go see Bodom in March but can't get the time off >:( well hopefully if they sort out whose going where in the next couple of weeks I might be able to get a ticket and time off by the skin o' my teeth (see what I did there ahahahahah...)

Also in March is Nick's birthday, I can't wait to see how he pulls off the Joker... hopefully he'll go all out and do the green hair and make up and not go for a shitty mask look, I mean that defeats the whole object?! After looking at Ghost Rider masks on ebay I've decided I'm gonna try and customise my own again. To be honest the official costume is a pile of shit and I've got an old biker jacket that I can use, a massive pair of New Rocks (that still fit me), a huge bike lock chain and I can get black jeans and everything else from Primarni lol! Just need to find some wrist bands and gloves... although I might just get the shitty official ones from ebay for £7! I'm gonna black my eyes out as well just to give it that shit yourself if your tripping look lmao!

But saying that I have found some sexual Zakk Wylde style, 4 strap wrist cuffs on ebay for £15 a pop... they look mint and I'm feeling saucy so I might order them next time I'm in work lol